I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
