your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
