Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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