East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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