This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
