he thought i was a dude.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
