Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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