We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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