I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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