Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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