You made me cry and you don't even care
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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