Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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