so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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