There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize