if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
