suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
