Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
