just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
