why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
