Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
