If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
