Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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