Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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