So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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