i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
