after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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