This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
