it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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