My first STD was from a foam party
I think my fart just growled at me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
