Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
