I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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