Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
