i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
