he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
sex in a hospital.. check
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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