The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
