My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize