But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
