I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
