sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
