dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
