..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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