remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
