Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
