I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
