Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
