Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
