I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I believe in your delicious
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Damn victory sex feels great
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
