Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
