i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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