When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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