Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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