apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
