i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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