he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
