It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
