....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just invented taco cereal.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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