I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
