Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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