i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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