no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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