Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
