do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize