you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
