I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
