Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I deserve this hangover.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
